you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
