a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
bring money and cleavage
i came on her dog
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
