I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
this will be a night to untag.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
