We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
