Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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