Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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