i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize