I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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