I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
