she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
