somebody snuck up and got me drunk
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
