Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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