I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
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