His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize