He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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