Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize