i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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