grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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