He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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