Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize
