Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
