I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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