i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
