hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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