I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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