I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
