this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
