why do cheetos always look like penises
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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