I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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