he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Randomize
