Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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