Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm passing your future prison.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
We are two peas in an std pod
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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