Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize