I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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