Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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