I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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