Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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