We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
