I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
