My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
