Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
