I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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