They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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