was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Everything about him screamed your future.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
