I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
