Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
