i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
