If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
