First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Randomize
