you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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