on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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