Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
