My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I still have a little drunk in my system
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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