you would pick up someone in the library
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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