so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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