I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize