I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
