some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize