I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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