That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Farmville is her only friend.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
