We named our party play list daddy issues
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
