guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
