her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
