Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just sucked dick on a ferry
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize