did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
