I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
