Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
