i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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